Jack Daniels Apples

I know, I know. I've already heard from some asking when Part 2 of the Harem will be up. Through circumstances beyond my control, sort of, it will have to wait until next week. Right now I'm still recovering from my experience with Jack Daniels apples late yesterday afternoon. And so, I begin. What does this have to do with historical travel? Well, the JD distillery is only about an hour up the road in the quaint little town of Lynchburg, TN (in a dry county), and it is a very popular tourist destination, especially for Europeans, and I was about to be around a few, so there!

Back to the apples. Last night, along with several other ladies from the du Midi Women's Club, I helped host a dinner for a group of international Teachers of the Year here for Space Camp. Since the dinner was not in my home, the lady who's home we were in, selected the menu and had decided upon southern food. She asked me to bring Jack Daniels Apples. Hmmm, I'm from Montgomery, which is pretty southern but I had never heard of JD Apples nor tasted them. In fact, I grew up not too far from the neighborhood in which F. Scott Fitzgerald's wife, Daisy, used to sachet up and down the street in her slip. This would be a serious digression were it not for the fact that in Fitzgerald's novel, The Great Gatsby, Jay Gatsby had made his money bootlegging during Prohibition. But this useless little bit of information has nothing to do with the apples, so back to the story.

The recipe for JD Apples was sent to me via e-mail. It consisted of only 3 ingredients: apples, sugar, and butter. Where did the Jack Daniels fit into this and how much? I consider myself somewhat of a gourmet cook and decided that a 3 ingredient recipe would be absolutely no challenge at all. So, I putzed around all day knowing that I could turn this out in a snap. I was to be at the home of the hostess at 5:30 PM to help set up for our guests who would be arriving at 6:00. At 4:30 I decided it was time to get started. I forgot that the recipe called for peeled apples. I never peel anything. Peelings are good for you. But since one of the Teachers of the Year was from Turkey, (they do a great deal of peeling there), a country I love dearly, I decided I needed to crank out my best so I commenced peeling.

The proper way to do this would be to get them all peeled at once and then put them into the melted butter for sauteing. I just started throwing them in as I got them peeled, which means that they would end up being various textures, but if texture is important in decorating then for this evening it could just be important in cooking, too. The more I sauteed the more they shrunk. By now it's 5:00 and I'm supposed to be there in 30 minutes. Did I mention she lived 15 minutes away? I looked at the pan and 12 apples of various consistency and it looked like a pretty puny serving. This would not do. I had flashbacks of Gourmet Club evenings in which I had ridiculed (behind their backs) women for bringing 8" square dishes of food when they had been told to prepare enough for 20. (Would someone explain this to me?!?) Anyway, I was out of apples but needed more stuff in that pan. Time to case the pantry.

I pulled down 2 cans of chunk pineapple, drained 2/3 of the juice and threw them in. The pan was getting full so I transferred it all to a larger pan, without spilling anything. This was going pretty well. Then I found some craisins and threw a hand full of them in too so that I could claim the dish contained antioxidants. Time for the sugar so I emptied it straight from the container and it looked like it was the right amount and that was good enough for me. Since I was on a roll, I found some walnuts, threw them into a separate pan with some sugar, candied them, and then threw them in. Now I could claim the dish also had roughage. Wasn't I clever and so healthy? All this scrounging around in the pantry had used up some time so now it's 5:15 and I need to be leaving. Time for the Jack. Oops! Alcohol should be added with enough time to saute for awhile and cook down. Not my problem.

I reached up into the back of the pantry and pulled down a bottle, wondering if there was a year for Jack Daniels, if it had been properly stored, when it had been bought, and all that. Not knowing what the proper proportion was, I dumped in straight from the bottle what looked like a cup. Okay, maybe it was a cup and a half. I looked at the pan. It didn't look right. I tasted it. Whew boy! I let the Jack sit there for awhile in the pan with all the other stuff, ran and got dressed for the evening, came back to the stove and took another look. Something was happening to the color and I began to wish I had paid closer attention in Chemistry class. I took another taste, which brought to mind something ominous I'd heard years ago about the combination of alcohol and fruit, and made a mental note to Google the fermentation process next time I had some time on my hands.

Time too dump it all into a serving dish. I misjudged how much was in the pot and the stuff ran all over the kitchen counter, down the sides, into the drawers and cabinets, onto the floor, and the Turkish carpet which I at least had gotten for a great deal years ago. I cleaned the mess up and transferred what was left in the too small serving dish into something larger and Italian. Yes, blame it on the Italians instead of my ineptitude with a southern recipe. I was not liking the color but by now it was 5:35 and I should have been there 5 minutes ago.

I carried it out to my car, sloshing all over the place, and as I tried to lower it to the floor of the backseat, it got stuck. This led to more yanking and more sloshing and it continued to change colors.

I arrived with my Jack Daniels Apples and 10 minutes to spare before the guests arrived. The dish was a real hit! Everyone thought I was really on to something with all those added ingredients. But the most enjoyable parts of the evening were, being with my fellow club members who were quite forgiving that I had not followed the recipe, getting to know our distinguished guests, and sharing a bit of southern food and hospitality with teachers from all over the world.